Finding the clues for self sabotage

For me, to write a blog about unlocking your best future has crept up on me in some ways.  I say in some ways because I knew I wanted it, but I didn't believe it of me. I wanted to write, I had some ideas, but felt I would baulk at keeping it going and trusting what may be possible. Not much sense in starting, if I couldn't keep it going. So I didn't try to start.

This was my thinking not that long ago, I had some great excuses and the results were as expected, no blog writing, no outlet for creative expression, complaining I had no voice, no worth to offer. Now, I write 2-3 blogs a week.

 This is My Lesson in Self Sabotage - clues from my thoughts

Clue # 1 I didn't believe it of me

Right there in my language, I had just imposed limits on what I could do.  So I dug a little deeper as to why I would do this to myself and it was about looking for perfect.  I set up a belief that writing and blogging was for the experts. 

Clue # 2 Trust

I didn't trust that I could rely on myself. How is it possible that I trust others and others trust me, yet I did not trust myself to give it a go? What a big fat lie I let myself agree to.

Clue # 3 I didn't try

This is not a good escape clause for doing something you know you want to do. In other areas of my life giving up instead of giving it a go is not an option.  Yes, this was new for me, I have tried and failed before, I am ok. Yet, until I recognised this for what it was, I just accepted these terms and conditions.



This is my Lesson in turning it around - clues from my thoughts

What changed?

Instead of focusing on what I don't want to happen, I tuned into what I want and deleted the excuses.

Clue #1  I wanted to write
Shred away the obstacles and you can see very clearly what you are looking for. 

Clue # 2 Creeping up on me
It was a niggle then it gained momentum and it could only be appeased when I started. It was such a relief to start.

Clue # 3 I had ideas
The ideas needed a platform, I needed to find my creative expression. I spent more time focussing on what was possible.

At the time of this photo, the idea of coaching and helping others to unlock their best future was starting to become more than a niggle for me and I was open to new possibilities and what value I can be of service to others.  The library was a quiet place to think more about the next step. 

Me in a private library in Salzburg.